Scores of men from Nyanga and surrounding areas converged on Zolani Centre in the area during the three-day Men’s Conference that was organised by Etafeni Daycare Centre Trust on Thursday 3 August.
The gathering started the day before and wrapped up on Friday.
Etafeni is a multi-purpose centre for children with chronic illnesses, aside from being a daycare centre.
Organisations represented at the event included #NoExcuse, Mosaic, Heartlines, Men’s Health Prominent Community Business and Sonke Gender Justice.
The event’s purpose was to conscientise men about gender-based violence (GBV) and other issues pertaining to them, according to Etafeni’s social worker Simthandile Faku.
He said it also created a space for them to speak out. Faku stated that in many GBV-related cases, men are always perceived as the perpetrators and all men are potentially violent towards women, which is not the case.
“There are those who use their masculinity to suppress their partners. And there are those who have a stereotypical mentality and do not want to listen or be told by women. They are still upholding social beliefs that men are superior to women.”
He stressed the conference was strictly for men to feel free to air their problems and find solutions. Faku mentioned social workers and other relevant role-players men can turn to enable them to resolve their problems.
He added that many men, instead, choose to frequent shebeens as a viable antidote to their problems.
The mentor at #NoExcuse, Victor Pike, urged men to stand up against violence. He said they mustn’t allow other people to define them.
“No one can tell you who you are unless you allow them to and listen to them. Be the change you want to see in society. We need to be role models to our families and community at large,” Pike said.
Crossroads resident Mvuyisi Tolbat described the conference as helpful. “I think, as men, we need such gatherings where we can talk to one another,” he said. “As men, no one is listening to us. In many instances, we are provoked by women and when we respond then people say we are abusing them. Women can say whatever they want and expect us to keep quiet. Once you respond, you become a perpetrator. Even the police are always listening to the women’s side.”
Tolbalt urged men to man up, rise and be responsible. “I don’t see a reason for a man not to support his child once he has separated from the child’s mother. It’s not something we should discuss, but it is a must to be present in one’s child’s life. And women must stop using the child when fighting with their father.”